Once More, With Freedom

Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

If life came with a rewind button and a single, all-access pass, I know exactly where I’d go: straight back to my teenage and college years.

Not to correct a failing grade or mend a broken heart—no, those mistakes were just messy growth. I’d go back to reclaim a different kind of treasure: the un-lived moments. The ones I sacrificed at the altar of perfection.

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Back then, life didn’t feel like my story. It was more like a movie where I was an actor following someone else’s script — parents, teachers, expectations, rules, responsibilities. Everyone decided what I should do, who I should be, and even how I should feel.

I followed along, thinking that obedience was love, that silence was strength, and that doing what others wanted was somehow the path to peace. But looking back now, I realize I missed the best part — living freely.

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If reliving were possible — even just in imagination — I’d do things differently.
I wouldn’t chase perfection; I’d chase moments.

I’d bunk a few more classes and sit under the college tree with friends, talking about everything and nothing. I’d drink one more cutting chai and laugh until my stomach hurt. I’d wear what I loved, say what I felt, and stop worrying about what anyone thought.

I’d write poems in the margins of my notebooks, fall in love with ideas (and maybe people), and live boldly enough to have a few wild stories to tell.

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Now I know: Those years weren’t just about marks or degrees or “becoming someone.” They were about discovering who I already was.

And while I can’t go back, I can carry that realization forward — that life isn’t meant to be lived according to someone else’s plan. It’s meant to be felt, tasted, and owned.

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So yes — if I could re-live any phase of my life, it would be my teenage and college years. Not to erase the past, but to rewrite the experience — this time, with freedom.

Freedom to speak.
Freedom to dream.
Freedom to simply be myself — unapologetically.

Because youth, when lived truly, never really fades. It lingers inside us — reminding us that it’s never too late to live the life we once wished for.

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Here’s to reliving our younger selves — not in time, but in spirit.